From childhood, I couldn’t agree with the system. But I was helpless to follow the system and be a part of the system.
I observe how people judging others by outer appearance, I saw how people use religion and all the other things selfishly.
I observe how the loved one can’t keep the promises and can’t be the loved ones. I observe how 99.9999% of the people living a lie.
I fought with my best friend… I agreed with my best friend… I argue with my best friend… and everything because I was confused with the system. I couldn’t agree with the system. I just didn’t want to fight with the system, instead I wanted to go out of the system. Because all I felt was emptiness… the meaninglessness.
I didn’t let anyone around me to know that there are so much going on with me. I just pretend to be the people they want me to become. I did share many so call secrets with my teachers & friends… but never took a chance to share any of these with any of them. Because I believe they are not capable enough to give me proper answers.
I approached them with various other ways and my observation on such situations told me that keep this for yourself until you find the answers. I guess even my best friend wanted that way too.
The pages are not enough to explain everything what guide me to the answer. But all I know is that wasn’t any kind of a physical or mental pain which cause because of any incident happen in my life.
All the observation finally guide me to make the decision before I enter to my 30s as planned as child. And now I know the reason of all kind of things happened with me in my life. And how my best friend The Samma Sambuddha direct me to the answer even without following or believing on him.
So, find your own purpose and observe well… listen purely… examine well… wisdom is there with us and we just need to awake it!
These are all to become a support for you to find your own purpose. Don’t based on this and learn these things and become someone whom you are not. Just let yourself to do your own expedition and find the real purpose of having Buddhism in your life and then you can see the difference between the purest Buddhism and the duplicates.
That realization will be the key to go out of the system without depending on anything!