Are you a true lover?

October 2012 edition

Are you a true lover?

Article summary

A brief explanation on True love and the true lovers. This may can change the way of your thinking on your love & the lovers. It is time to re think… Let’s find out the true meaning of Real Love!

The true love identified as many ways. Some says if the partner is faithful, caring, respecting to each other and give the sensual pleasure in all the possible ways that is the true love which is not change with the time. That love which last forever and when someone have such a love they keep wishing & praying to have such partner again & again throughout the existence. Most of the people are ready to give even their lives for such a love.

I am saying that this is not the true love but the “selfishness at its best”. Now you may be cursing me and even will say that I never experience such a true love in my life that's why I'm telling such crazy things. Ok then let's find out what can be the definition for true love is.

Fish attracting to the bait and get in to trouble and fish goes through the death or suffering which is almost like death. Why it happened to fish? Because fish attracted to the bait and grab it for itself… in another words fish happen to clings to the pleasure he gain through the bait. Fish did not realize the danger hidden with the bait. Because the bait makes fish, kind of blind… In same way we say love is blind! Yes! Indeed love is blind as we unknowingly put ourselves as well as our beloved partners into a trap and make ourselves and themselves to eat a bait.

The commonly known true love is based on the sensual pleasure. There is nothing spiritual without a doubt. It's totally nothing but a pleasure to eyes, ears, tongue, nose, body & to the mind. Think carefully and realize what I am trying to say… It’s not just the sex I am talking about.   If a partner giving us the sensual pleasure continuously by entertaining our eyes, ears, tongue, nose, body & mind that one is identified as the true and lovable partner. The most of the problems, divorces, break ups etc… etc… happen just because of breaking this entertaining process with each other.

When there is no entertainment between each other we find no interest to one another. That's what happen in the relationship. Losing the interest based on the entertainment makes the relationship status complicated.  Sometime some couples accept that as it is and manage to live with the partners truthfully because of many reasons arise with circumstances. So we call sacrifices do need when there is true love. And to justify that situation we make it noble.

So as said above, we become bait to our partners and our partners find ourselves as bait which keeps them attach to the existence. It becomes a reason to born again… another birth means loads of suffering arise with the birth. One should go through loads of changes, sicknesses, mental sufferings stress and many more disappointments and finally death again.

So think carefully if you love someone truly, do you like to see that beloved person go through the death? Go through the sicknesses? Go through many mental sufferings? Go through many accidents and various kind of suffering? What kind of loves it is that? Can it be true love?  No I don't think so… I personally don't agree with the process which brings loads of suffering to my beloved partner… I hope as a wise being you too can't accept such a process as a true lover.

Then what can be the true love really is?

A true love and real support of a real beloved life partner should be a person who is supporting to cease and get rid of all kind of suffering in life. That person should support not to die again & again in this existence… that person should support not be get sick again… not to be suffer again mentally or physically… this cessation of suffering actually available and it's something possible to do this life itself. We don't have to wait for our death to get the fruits of our practices. We truly can gain the pure happiness and we can support our beloved partner to gain the same happiness as well.

Then don't be too selfish… don't become a bait to your partner which you ultimately become a cause to bring loads of suffering to your partner… and be wise don't encourage your partner to become a bait for you which brings loads of suffering to yourself. Think before you cling to the bait. Because bait means there is hidden danger inside. So better to be careful!

Once you realize this simple meaning of true love there is actually no obstacle to follow the path of nirvana the path of true happiness as a lay person or as a married person. Just use your mind wisely and think out of the box. Identify the selfishness hidden inside this so call commonly known true love.

Become a real partner and give the real love the real support to your partner and ultimately it's become a cause to cease your all kind of suffering too. In Prince Siddhartha's life there was such a wonderful partner who truly loved him. That is princesses Yashodhara. She was such a wonderful partner to him and with that support he ended up by being a Samma Sambuddha who explored the path of ceasing all kind of suffering and gain true happiness. He himself achieved the true happiness and explored the method to whole universe too.

So it's now your turn… be wise… being a real partner… be a true lover… don't let you or your partner whom you love very much into loads of suffering and troubles through the existence! May triple gem bless you all to become true lovers and gain the best!!!  

Rajitha Viduransi | Kelaniya, Sri Lanka