To the dearest friends!

September 2021 edition

To the dearest friends!

Article summary

It is indeed a difficult thing to find some really good friends. Most of them doesn’t understand what friendship means. This is a common saying of most of the people that they can’t find really good friend or they don’t have such friends. So, let’s see what’s Samma Sambuddha said about good friends. Because even when you seek for the true liberation a noble friend is the one who guides you. Buddhism is all about a true noble friendship!

So, when you know who is a good friend you will be able to become a good friend to others. And let’s see how our friendship guide us to the truth!

“Monks, a friend gifted with these seven qualities is worth associating with.  Which seven? 

  • 01st Quality - A friend who gives what is hard to give
  • 02nd Quality - A friend who does what is hard to do
  • 03rd Quality - A friend who endures what is hard to endure
  • 04th Quality - A friend who reveals his secrets to you
  • 05th Quality - A friend who keeps your secrets
  • 06th Quality - A friend who doesn’t abandon you no matter what strikes you
  • 07th Quality - A friend who doesn’t look down on you when you are not doing well.

A friend who gifted with these 7 qualities is worth associating with” (Read the full sutta in Pali Canon > Aṅguttara Nikāya (AN) > Book of the Sevens > Deities (Devatā vagga) > 7.36. A Friend)

What more important is check these qualities within.  If you have these qualities that means you truly are a good friend.  So, then its obvious that you attract the same nature.  The more you cultivate these qualities the more you become a good friend to others.  Let’s see what are the good qualities you cultivate by being a good friend.  In another way you are cultivating ten perfections which leads you to the true liberation. 

  • 01st Quality – means you are generous & you cultivate generosity. This means you are cultivating the perfection of generosity - Dāna pāramī 
  • 02nd Quality – means you are vigorous & you cultivate vigor.  This means you are cultivating the perfection of effort - Viriya pāramī
  • 03rd Quality – means your endurance & you cultivate calmness.  This means you are cultivating the perfection of patience, tolerance, acceptance, endurance - Khanti pāramī
  • 04th Quality – means you are reliable & you cultivate reliability.  This means you are cultivating the perfection of truthfulness, honesty - Sacca pāramī
  • 05th Quality – means you are responsible & you cultivate accountability.  This means you are cultivating the perfection of virtue, morality, proper conduct - Sīla pāramī
  • 06th Quality – means your persistence & you cultivate determination.  This means you are cultivating the perfection of determination, resolution - Adhitthāna pāramī   
  • 07th Quality – means you are compassionate & you cultivate compassion. This means you are cultivating the perfection of goodwill, friendliness, loving-kindness - Mettā pāramī.  Also, this shows the way how you can treat a person equally with out judging them of who they are.  This cultivates the perfection of equanimity, serenity - Upekkhā pāramī
Through all these you are cultivating the perfection of wisdom, discernment - Paññā pāramī which leads you to the true liberation - Nekkhamma pāramī.

So, you see my dear dhamma friends, being a good friend is indeed is the path of true liberation.  The more you cultivate these noble 07 qualities within the more you are capable of meeting noble beings with same noble qualities. You cultivate the ten perfections named Paramitas which will guide you to the ultimate truth.  So, the blessed one’s way is based on true friendship.  So, it begins here… yes, right now… within you… by being a good friend to others. 

So, I am one luckiest person in this earth to have such beautiful good friends from my childhood.  I am truly blessed with so many good friends with these noble qualities.  Most of us doesn’t hang out so much but we all know that we are there for us!  I believe I am a good friend, so that’s the reason I am blessed with such beautiful friends around always.  So, can you say too that you are the luckiest person because you have such beautiful friends and they believe you are one good friend too?    There are no thanks & sorry among us so I would say I am truly blessed by you my dearest friends! and This is a tribute to all my beautiful friends!

Rajitha Viduransi | Kelaniya, Sri Lanka